Primal Cream Cheese Frosting (and Carrot Cake review)

Every year our friends host an Easter get together complete with an adult Easter egg hunt. On a side note, I have won every year... except for that one year I wasn't there. I take egg hunts pretty seriously ;) Moving on... Normally, my traditional cake for Easter is my Lemon Cake (80/20!). This year, though, every one attending was either paleo or primal, which I was really excited about. I wanted to make carrot cake, but could not decide which recipe to try: Elana's Pantry or Primal Palate. I ended up making both and using it as an opportunity for a taste test. I don't make a lot of desserts, so I knew if I made one cake for Easter and another 6 months down the road, I wouldn't be able to decide which I liked better. What better way to decide than just making two cakes at once, right? Right.

Ultimately, 80% of us preferred Primal Palate's recipe over Elana's. Elana's was fantastic - lots of spice, and plenty of texture from the raisins and nuts. The spices, though, were a bit overpowering for a traditional carrot cake flavor, and almond flour, of course, has a distinctive flavor that most people did not prefer for a carrot cake. Primal Palate's coconut flour version, though, despite lacking nuts or raisins, was more reminiscent of a traditional carrot cake. The fibrous texture of coconut flour lends itself very well to the texture of a carrot cake. I do think, in the future, I would add raisins and walnuts, because carrot cake isn't complete without them in my opinion!

To keep the playing field even, I made the same frosting for both cakes. I ended up doing Elana's in cake form, and Primal Palate's in cupcake form. I did attempt a dairy free "cream cheese" frosting, but ended up over the sink gagging, so let's just not talk about that... This frosting, though, is fantastic. It complemented both cakes perfectly, is rich and perfectly tart, and has just a hint of sweetness.

Primal Cream Cheese Frosting
primal / grain-free / gluten-free / egg-free

Yield: Enough for a two-layer 9in cake, or 24 cupcakes

16oz, or 2 blocks, cream cheese, room temperature

1/2c, or 1 stick, butter, room temperature

1/3c maple syrup

1T vanilla extract

1/2t ground ginger, optional

Cream the butter and cream cheese together in a stand mixer, or with a handheld mixer, until fully incorporated.

While mixing, drizzle in the maple syrup and vanilla. Add the ginger. 

Whip until it reaches the desired fluffiness.

Use immediately, or store in the refrigerator (bring to room temperature before frosting).

What did you make for Easter this year? 

Log Lady Cake (ok, it's Buche de Noel)

2012's version:

This post is really old. Like, January old. But it deserves to be written, mostly because my sister is Log Lady.

Mirror images.

For my sister's birthday, I made her a log lady cake. Okay, really, it's Buche de Noel, but I think Log Lady Cake is more appropriate. It is fitting that it is traditionally French. It's also equally important to note this is the second Twin Peaks themed birthday gift/celebration I have done for her. One time, we threw her a Twin Peaks/David Lynch themed surprise costume birthday party complete with cherry pie, donuts, and plenty of coffee.

"I'm Paul", Sherrif Harry Truman, Albert, BOB, Audrey Horne, James Hurley, Frank Booth, Ben, Margaret Lanterman (Log Lady), "Rita", Leo Johnson, Special Agent Dale Cooper, Big Ed Hurley, Nadine Hurley, Mutant baby from Eraserhead.

So this year (and by that I mean ten months ago) I made her Buche de Noel Log Lady cake. And it was fun. And delicious. And now her birthday cake tradition. It is conveniently flour-free, because her birthday fell mid-Primal challenge. Although, there's plenty of sugar...

First, you make the filling, what is essentially a chocolate whipped cream. While it chills, you make a chocolate sponge cake. 

While the cake is still warm, you turn it out. I found my silicone mats very convenient for this, although you could use a dish towel. You sprinkle on confectioner's sugar, and roll the cake up to set.

After the cake cools completely, you roll it out again. You then spread the chocolate whipped cream inside, and roll it back up. After filling, you cut off a piece from one end to add a protrusion, then frost again.

2011's

I used a wooden skewer to make a bark pattern in the frosting. I then used existing clay mushrooms I had from our wedding shower. I also used warm fingers to mold chocolate kisses into mushroom shapes, and used wooden skewers as stems.

2011's

2011's

2011's

Teapots make great vases.

when primal meets vegan: "cake balls"

Yesterday it was my friend's birthday. We were going to do a get together with drinks and desserts. I really wanted to make him something specific he wanted, but he just kept being all real, talking about how my presence was enough, blah blah blah.

THIS GUY. 7 years ago.

ANYWAY, I decided I would try to make something vegan in addition to being primal for my vegan friend. This is what he looks like, also 7 years ago. Yeah, dad's gonna be so upset with me.

Sorry, dad. The only reason I added these photos is because I conveniently had them in a desktop folder to share when I recently copied them off my external hard drive.

You would think vegan combined with primal basically means to eat leaves and some tree bark. But you, my dear, are incorrect, it does not! So I was searching for recipes. A lot. Because I didn't have a lot of time to experiment. I had, maybe, an hour to figure something out before my pre-party plans began (not involving drinking, by the way, who do you think I am?). It was getting really challenging, so I decided to take a simple vegan recipe and just primalize it. Yeah I just made that word up. I found this chocolate cake recipe that looked fairly simple. So I went for it. It came out really yummy smelling and tasting (my mouth might be burnt). Then shit got crazy. They fell apart. It was messy. It's a funny story which you should ask me about when you see me next (in real life). Normally I curl up in a ball and cry until I'm dehydrated when things like this happen to me in the kitchen because I'm really perfect and never do anything wrong (oh haaayyy sarcasm). I was like, well, my options are to serve people cupcakes they can't even hold, let alone pick up, or serve cake crumbs in a bowl with a community spoon. I came up with something better: cake balls. I've never made these stupid things before, because they're trendy and silly, and a smaller, stupider version of cup cakes. No offense. Actually, take offense, I don't really mind--I don't like cupcakes. And I know I've cursed myself for life, cupcakes are out to get me, and every time I make them something goes wrong ever since I went around preaching how much I hate them. ANYWAY, back to cake balls. I pulled out my stand mixer to whip up some vegan/primal frosting (yeah, whip up, like it's that easy to make frosting primal AND vegan). I realized I didn't have, like, anything, to make this frosting with. But, thankfully I'm perfect, and genius (and rich), because I decided nut butter would work out super well. The still warm chocolate chunks in the cake, combined with peanut butter, made a fantastic glue to hold together these super rich vegan AND primal cake balls!

Mistake Spiced Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake Balls
(Vegan and primal subs)

1 1/2 c flour of choice (AP for just vegan, or almond for primal)

1 c granulated sugar of choice (I used sucanat)

1/4 c raw 100% cacao powder (or cocoa)

1 t baking soda (check your labels for corn if primal)
1 t cinnamon (optional)
1/4 t ginger (optional)
1/4 t cloves (optional)
1/2 t nutmeg (optional)
1/8 t cayenne pepper (optional)

1/2 t sea salt

1/3 c coconut oil (you can sub any oil if you're unconcerned)

1 t vanilla extract

1 t balsamic vinegar

1 c water

1/2 c chunks/chips of dark chocolate (check labels for dairy, whey and casein if vegan)

1/2 c, give or take, nut butter

Oven at 350. You know the drill. Prep about 10 muffin tins.

Melt your coconut oil in a medium size mixing bowl. Add the vanilla extract, balsamic vinegar, and water. In another bowl, whisk together the flour, sweetener, cacao, baking soda, spices, and salt. Sift if you find it necessary.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. Add the chocolate chunks. If you are using a substitute flour, you can mix as much as you want, but if you used AP flour, mix just until combined.

Portion into muffins tins (I got 10 cupcakes out of this). Bake for 20-25 minutes. Alternatively, you could use a cake pan or loaf pan. A 9x5 loaf pan would probably take about 45 minutes. Your call, batman.

Let the cake cool for at least 15 minutes and experience the amazing crumbling action that is this disastrous cake. Actually, I'm sure you could pull this off in a cake pan or loaf pan as a real cake if you let it cool completely and didn't care about presentation. Also, if you aren't vegan, throw an egg in there if you're going for real cake and not balls.

Now, I was short on time, so I mixed my ball batter together while the ingredients were still warm which created a dense, smooth cake ball. If you had time, and wanted lighter, more cake-like balls, I would recommend cooling the crumbles for as long as you can, preferably overnight, and mixing lightly.

Throw the peanut butter in there. Mix it all up. Use a disher to form portions, then roll in your hands. Store in the fridge, or alternatively, freeze, then let sit for about 10 minutes before dipping in melted chocolate.

Lemon Cake

Last Zombie Jesus Day, errr, I mean...Easter, we were going over to our friend Tracey and Lauren's house, and I was going to bring a dish to share. I obviously decided to bake, because that's what I love doing. I wanted to make something a little lighter and reminiscent of Spring, even though, surprisingly, we ended up with a sunny day. I also wanted to try a new recipe. I ended up not having enough lemons for this recipe, and substituted oranges. The result was amazing. Everyone loved it--and had seconds. I had to give the recipe to plenty of people after the first try. Since then, it's my go-to for shared meals and dinner parties (by the way, serving a loaf for dessert, then wrapping the second one up with some ribbon as a gift to your guests is pretty well received!) It isn't exactly a throw-together recipe, so I save it for those times I really have been missing the kitchen. The results, though, are worth it...

Lemon Cake

2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 1/2 cups granulated sugar, divided (plus extra for pan)
4 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
1/3 cup zest, lemon and orange (I used 2 valencia oranges & 4 lemons)
3 cups all-purpose unbleached flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cup freshly squeezed juice, divided (1/2 c lemon and 1/4 c orange)
3/4 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

glaze:2 cups confectioner's sugar
3 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
optional:
but required if you're smart at all.
1 pint of blueberries (or whatever is in season)


Begin by preheating the oven to 350 degrees.

You may use either a bundt pan or 2 loaf pans (8 1/2 by 4 1/2 by 2 1/2 in).
Whenever I am baking (banana bread, zucchini loaf, any cakes) I prefer to butter and sugar the pan instead of butter and flour. I think it gives it an outer sweet crust, and a prettier presentation. So, butter and sugar your pan(s).
I think it's easiest to use the wrappings from the room temperature butter, as they hold on to a lot of extra butter, and you don't get your hands too messy. Make sure to get all the way up the edge, then pour in some sugar, shake, spin, and roll it around to get in all the corners and up the sides thoroughly.

Cream the butter and 2 cups of the sugar until light and fluffy. I prefer to use my whisk attachment in my stand up mixer, as it tends to leave less on the sides. Be sure to scrape down your bowl frequently. While the butter and sugar are creaming, I zest the fruit. Because it takes for-ev-ER. I usually pass this job off onto my husband, who quite enjoys it. Use a good micro plane, and be sure to get all you can. While you're at it, juice them. You can roll them for a few seconds before juicing to get those juices flowing, or you can even pop them in the microwave for a few seconds. It really helps.

Add the eggs, one at a time, and all of the zest. Mix on medium speed until incorporated and a sunny yellow:)

Stir together the dry ingredients. (Flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt)

In another small bowl, combine the wet ingredients. (Buttermilk, 1/4 cup of the juice, buttermilk, vanilla)

Add dry and wet alternately to the mixing bowl, starting and ending with the dry. It's a pain, but it's worth it.

Pour into prepared pan(s), dividing evenly if in loaf pans...duh. If I'm using loaf pans, I like sprinkling the top with a little coarse sugar for presentation at this point.

Bake for 45 minutes-1 hour, until a tester comes out clean. The bundt pan will take longer than the loaf pans.

Make the syrup. Combine 1/2 cup sugar and 1/2 cup juice in a small saucepan over medium-low heat until dissolved. When the cakes come out of the oven, I like to poke some holes in it using a skewer, then pour the syrup over the top.
Allow to cool until syrup is absorbed then let cool completely on a wire rack. Move your cake to it's serving platter.

Make the glaze by whisking together the confectioner's sugar and the lemon juice then spoon the glaze over the top (it's a LARGE quantity of glaze, so I usually pour about 3/4 over the cakes, and reserve the rest so that anyone who wants extra can spoon it over their individual piece). Top with the blueberries, and serve.

OH, oh, oh, then use your leftover buttermilk to make Buttermilk Pancakes! :)